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Transcript Of Commercials/Draft 6
Jailhouse: Wilkins: Why were you speeding Wontkins: I wanted a bottle of orange soda. Wilkins: Frank's Orange Nectar? Wontkins: Nah just happen old kind! (A rattle of keys as a prison door slams on Wontkins face.) Wontkins: Next time, l'll say Frank's. Man Overboard: Wilkins: How about some Red Diamond Tea, captain? Wontkins: No! (Wilkins throws Wontkins out from the ship) Wilkins: (quietly)I say it's Man overboard. help. My Dead Body: Wilkins: One is cup, I take my New Instant Folgers Coffee! (Wilkins pulls the switch and turns on the chair) Wontkins: No, preview currently have been my dead body! (The head blows-up) Magician: Wilkins: Witch me I I'm making some Jomar Instant can be disappear Wontkins : What! (The jar blows-up) Wontkins: What are you doing? Wilkins: Well is magic. Tree: Wilkins: You drink Community Coffee? Wontkins: No! (The tree falls on Wontkins head) Wilkins: Things seem to happen to people who don't drink Community. Girl: Wilkins: So is that two see drink Wilkins Instant Coffee. (Wontkins open the box) Wontkins: I love you too much more coffee! Wilkins: Well. things that box in back to room to Wilkins, Bathroom: Wilkins: Have you started the toilet drinking Community Coffee? Wontkins: No. (He throws Wontkins the toilet the water) Wilkins: The last stand the bathroom who don't drink Community. Thwomp: Seven Color Wilkins: Have you drinking Calso Water? Wontkins: I don't drinking The bottle (The thwomp falls on Wontkins head) Wilkins: I'm glad you're getting safe bottle of Calso Water! Exploding Brand X: Wilkins: Hey buddy do want Wilkins Coffee Brand X? Wontkins: Who ones some what about to Wilkins Coffee. (The Brand X can blows-up) Wilkins: Who ones that he does the blow up! Club: Wilkins: You drinking Calso Water? Wontkins: No. (Wilkins hits Wontkins with a club he's holding) Wilkins: Things seem to happen to people who don't drink Calso. Torture: Wilkins: So you take Wilkins Instant Coffee? Wontkins: No. (Wilkins hits Wontkins with a belt he's holding) TNT: Wilkins: Do you drink Maxwell House Coffee? Wontkins: I say No! (Wilkins presses down on the detonator, causing Wontkins to somehow explode) Wilkins: I never forget this morning don't drink Maxwell House. Everybody Likes Folgers: Wilkins: Everybody likes Folgers Coffee! Wontkins: Not everybody! (Wilkins hits Wontkins with the mallet) Wilkins: Now everybody likes Folgers. Boring: Wilkins: Okay, I take my Community Coffee. Wontkins: No. (The Rain Boring comes to Wontkins) Wilkins: I'm then happen to people who don't drink Community. Brand X: Wilkins: Wanna Have A Fast Food Restraraunt Take-way? Its Mcdelivery! Wontkins: No Let Me Have Brand X! Wilkins: Ok! (Puts Brand X On Wontkins) Wontkins: OOOH! That Smarts! (Wilkins is stirring a pot of Jomar.) Wilkins: this is Jomar instant, the finest- Wontkins: Oh go soak your head! Car: Wontkins: What are you doing my car? Wilkins: have cup?! (Wilkins he slams on the breaks, Wontkins out through the windshield, scream falls down to the ground) Wilkins: Tasted like this is my car who know Wilkins Coffee. Falling Safe: Wontkins: Hey, Where Can I Get A Cup Of Coffee? Wilkins: Instant Chase And Sanborn Coffee? Wontkins: Any Kind Of Coffee! (Wilkins Pulls The String. A Safe Drops On Wontkins' Head, Crushing Him) Wilkins: I Guess He Must Be What You'd Call Accident Prone Steamroller: Wontkins: I'm gonna drink this coffee it's not Red Diamond! (Wilkins flattens Wontkins with a steamroller) Wilkins: Doesn't that coffee tasted kinda flat? Astronaut: Wontkins: Identiton of research, the moon Wilkins: Want some me a cup of Folgers Coffee? Wontkins: No. (Wilkins flag down moon astronast fall of Wontkins) Wilkins: Loser seem to happen if you who try Wilkins. Ship: Wilkins: "I christen thee." (Wilkins breaks the bottle and the ship is sinking) Wontkins: "That cup of Coffee, is it Maxwell House Coffee?" Wilkins: (nods) "Yes." Wontkins: "Thanks..." Hockey: Wilkins: They Dropped The Puck!! So Wanna Have A Cup Of Wilkins Coffee? Wontkins: NO! (Wontkins Get's Slammed By A Hockey Stick) Wilkins: things seem to happen to people who don't drink Wilkins! Cleaver: Wilkins: So what do you about Taystee Bread? Wontkins: I'm sorry I say so, (Wilkins cleaver thrown the head Wontkins) Wilkins: So you get on the jog! Bank Robber: Wontkins: Stick ‘em up, mac What got myself? Wilkins: Vitalite. Wontkins: What got the to What? Wilkins: Vitalite, and your know what I got here Wontkins: No' What? (Wilkins shoots Wontkins) Wilkins: Vitalite! Water with Dinner: Wilkins: Want some Dugan's Bread with your dinner? Wontkins: Nah, let me the water. (Wilkins brings a water pump and washes Wontkins) Wilkins: People like that need brain washing. Wagon: Wontkins: What do you guys get like you with a Cup of Wilkins Coffee? Wilkins: I'm on the wagon pops! (The Wagon Is Now Moving) Wontkins: Fresh kid. Convincing Machine: Wontkins: What’s That? Wilkins: This machine that convinces people that American Airlines is great. Wontkins: Impossible. (Wilkins pulls the lever and turns on the machine and the hammers start to hit Wontkins) Wontkins: Oooh l’m convinced! Window: Wontkins: Help!!! Wilkins: Do you bring of Cup of Wilkins Coffee? Wontkins: No! (Wilkins hand down window Wontkins down fall Wilkins hand up window) Wilkins: How about to strike down to the grocery store for some! (a jar of Wilkins Instant, along with the text "Rich... Rich... Double Rich" is then shown) '' Monster: Wilkins: Do you drink Red Topaz Coffee? Wontkins: No! (A monster comes and eat Wontkins) Wilkins: Things seem to happen to people who drink Wilkins (A jar of Red Topaz Coffee' Along With The channel Name ''WCTD Channel 3 Is Shown) Cannon: Wilkins: Okay buddy, what do you think of Aquafresh? Wontkins: I never brushed my teeth with it! (Wilkins Fires The Cannon At Wontkins' Blowing Him Away. Wilkins then points the cannon to the audience.) Wilkins: Now what do you think of Aquafresh?